The Silence Is Deafening - Observations Of A Hospitality Worker
Jamie Mah @grahammah
If you’d have told me two years ago that a virus would wreak havoc globally to the point it would cause most of the world to shut down for months on end, I’d have thought you’d have gone mad and were deserving of spending months of your own time in a hospital with the cast of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. There is absolutely no way I’d have believed you. Not. At. All.
But here we are, late July 2021 still slightly in grips of this ordeal, on the precipice of seeing a horizon of freedom we can’t wait to tap into. Take it from someone who hasn’t visited home in over 18 months, planning my first trip back to Saskatoon will be sweeter than cherry pie. I cannot wait to kiss my mother and see her beautiful smile. It’s been too long I can only say.
However, in spite of missed vacations and family connection, life carries on and with it the vagaries of work. The hotel I work at is bustling and I’m loving every second of it. Making money again never felt so good. But, with my renewed sense and appreciation for having a stable job, the lure and return of one of hospitalities most intriguing spoils is that of seeing people out again. It’s enjoyable to watch.
Our jobs are to provide food and drink in a fun and enjoyable setting. Plain and simple. How this goes about is at the discretion of the establishment. But pandemic or not, one thing remains constant, regardless of atmosphere, that humans are not all the same in how they go about being in these spaces, especially with how they interact with their comrades or even us workers. It is always different, yet often the same.
Fascination grips me everytime when I watch others. I can’t help but do it. I’m often left agape in wonder or bewilderment when I see a guy approach a girl whom he clearly has no chance with or when a couple sits peacefully while uttering nary a word to one another. With both examples, questions always arise. What is he thinking in this moment? How nervous is he? Do they still like each other? Are they that bored they have nothing left to share? Or are they that comfortable?
The dichotomy of scenarios you come to view is astonishing and with it a lexicon of unique insights into human dynamics and the roles we play while amongst others flourishes. Those who work in this industry are truly lucky with what they get to witness.
Nonetheless, when I come back to this idea, as I’m doing so now, I’m reminded of one the most enduring scenes from the film Pulp Fiction. It’s when Vincent and Mia first meet and head to Jack Rabbit Slim’s for dinner and drinks. There’s an intoxicating aura between the two of which you cannot help but revel in. And when I rewatch this scene it always brings me back to those late nights watching others do the same as we invariably look to connect and be merry.
Life has a way of tearing down so much of our optimism and hope for our existence that we’ll do just about anything to temper it’s affect on us. It’s why we consume drugs and alcohol. This is our way of trying to change the channel. To alter our perception. To feel better about our circumstances.
To better understand this phenomenon, I recently chatted with author and UBC Professor Edward Slingerland who wrote a book, Drunk: How we Sipped, Dance and Stumbled Our Way To Civilization which virtually confirms this idea. In it he discusses how alcohol essentially helped pave the way for civilization to exist. Then there’s the book I’m currently reading, Michael Pollan’s latest, This Is Your Mind On Plants, in which he chews over our connection, use and love for caffeine, mescaline and opium.
The narratives of both books centre in strikingly similar degrees around one theme — that we do all of this to feel something, which is alive. And when I’m at work I feel like I’m at the centre of commerce of these human social experiments. I literally get paid to watch lives change. Think of it this way. When you go grocery shopping or buy gas, your life is what it is. Very little of those moments alters your situation. However, brought together in a dynamic setting, with great food and drink with others looking to do the same, magic happens. Dates transpire. Conversation flows. Laughter ensues and memories are made. Without this, there’s nothing but trivialities. Excuses to get out of bed but very little to live for.
As I touched on earlier with two notable examples of human dynamics I’ve seen countless times, watching a guy muster the courage to walk over to a girl and chat her up, even when I know immediately that 90% of the time it’s going to end poorly, I’m reminded of the silence in that scene with Vincent and Mia. There’s a point (the 4:23 mark in the video) when the two of them just sit idly for a good minute not talking. It’s in this inaction where the beauty of the scene lies. Similar to how attraction works between two people, less is usually better. The scene works because they say nothing. With Rumble by Link Wray playing in the background, the electricity builds as the two share a sexiness you just want to bottle up and show to every young girl and boy whose about to enter their dating years. There’s no sexual foreplay at work here but their time shared is in itself sexy. They know it and can feel it. So can we the viewer.
For the guy who walks up to the girl, his goal is to get her attention, to see if she’ll like him. In having seen this scenario countless times before, the stillness of time I experience just before he walks over to her is where I’m fascinated and elated to work where I do because it’s in these junctures where real life transpires. I want to see what happens. How it all goes down and if a moment, similar to what you see between Vincent and Mia will take place. There’s a silence before it all happens and it’s where the beauty lies.
Most jobs don’t reward us with much more than a paycheck and a reason to leave the house. Building burrito after burrito at Chipotle can’t be all that inspiring. But given a better setting, dim lighting and maybe a few martinis along the way, life unfolds and with it hope for a better tomorrow. As a hospitality worker, I get to be apart of that in a small way. It really is a fine perk that comes with my employment. I could watch that scene between Vincent and Mia on loop over and over. It’s that stirring. Seeing it happen in real life, however, is even better. So I say, go on buddy, ask her out, what have you got to lose? While you’re at it, I’m going to observe and watch. I probably shouldn’t and sometimes I can’t help it, but the silence as you approach is deafening and that my friends is well worth the price of admission.