The Genius Of Marriage Story Is How Realistic It Is

Divorce sucks. 

• By Jamie Mah @grahammah

When Noah Baumbach’s ‘Marriage Story’ opens, we’re led through the minds of his two leads, Charlie and Nicole, as they’ve been tasked by their therapist to write down all the things they love and admire about their partner. It’s a cheerful “imaginary” opening as we get to hear what it might sound like to hear the two of them describe all the little nuances of which make their spouse unique to them. Lost in the shuffle of daily life, this exercise showcases the poignancy of what we so often take for granted — our partners.

This process immediately reminded me of one of my favourite scenes from the movie ‘Good Will Hunting’ in which Robin Williams character recites to Matt Damon’s character that what he misses most about his dead wife is the little intricacies that only he knew about, such as when she farted in her sleep. This for him is where true intimacy is found — when we let our guards down and truly get to know someone. Marriage Story’s ethos straddles this chasm of depth and love with the ugliness of real life. It’s in this plane where Baumbach crafts his mark and lets you in on the messiness of heartache and the loss of self.

From the beginning we witness how Nicole has lost her identity as she feels, as so many probably watching have or currently feel in their own relationships, that what they want isn’t often what they get or what their partner desires. Love is what brings marriage to the table for two people, but it’s in communication and sacrifice whether most relationships will work out in the long run. The loss of the latter of these two elements is where actors Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson shine as they both showcase with as much realism as one could hope of two leads, that divorce and what it brings can leave us to do and say some awful things.

The climax of the film centres around a battle of wills fight of which I’m confident almost all of us have had at some point in our dating lives. Already known for his honest and in your face style of acting from his years on the HBO show Girls, Driver lets every facet of his emotional range shine through in this scene as he rages with a ferocity only a man pushed to his limits would exhibit, even if part of you deep down inside agrees that what’s best for their son is that he stay and live in Los Angeles. I find Johansson to be just as strong throughout as she tries to do her best in fighting for what’s good for her and the wellbeing of their son. However, as strong as she is, the films heart always finds its way back to Driver and how he’s just trying to be decent, even when he’s forced to do otherwise.

Laura Dern, Ray Liotta and a surprise performance from Alan Alda round out the lawyer trio who help navigate the muddy waters of each side’s proceedings. Dern is essentially playing a softer, more gentle version of her character on Big Little Lies, while Liotta tries his best to hang in and fight for his client. 

**Side note. Am I wrong to believe that Ray Liotta should have had a better career than he’s shown? I mean, he was the star of Goodfellas! What happened? The last thing I remember him in was Blow and that came out in 2001. Truly unfortunate.

All the same, the depiction of marriage Baumbach wants you to feel and leave with comes near the end of the film when we see the family a year later, with Nicole now having a new beau and Driver on the move to Los Angeles on a more permanent basis, having taken a directing job up at UCLA. This image, one we’ve been built up to expect is something most who’ve been married and are now divorced have had to reconcile with — that life must carry on, even if the sting is always there just beneath the surface. Love whether we like it or not ends badly most of the time. A large majority of those who get married nowadays will most likely end in divorce at some point. The stats are there and it isn’t encouraging. Life and compromise are never easy and if you’re someone who’s young and wanting to someday get married, a film such as this one, could cause you to wonder if marriage is truly what you desire.

But just as you’re about to let yourself believe this fate, Baumbach throws a curve and gives you the heart that he was trying to showcase in the beginning. As I mentioned at the top, the film opens with an imaginary depiction of each lead reciting all the many things they love and admire about their partner. But, once we meet them at their therapist’s office, Nicole refuses to read what she’s written because doing so will show Charlie her vulnerability, which at this point is all that she has left to save.

It’s in the end, when all the dust settles and we see her son reading what she wrote that we get to witness the vision of love that Baumbach wants us to feel. Charlie walks in and begins to read with him. The depth of this sequence leaves you in tears as it’s a sheer and honest moment that breaks your heart as Charlie finally gets to hear how she once felt about him. He almost cries when he reads that she will always love him. It’s a stunning scene of which Driver pulls off masterfully.

Their love may have been lost, but it was always real. Baumbach has given us a film that’s about as genuine as it gets with regards to the perils of love, kids and happiness. 

The genius of the movie is that life is worth it even if it often is not. The hard part is being willing to accept that. 

Marriage Story is now playing on Netflix